The Butterfly is flying away

We once share laughter together

We once share happiness together

We once completed each other

But once the truth revealed

All left are memories

There's no regret, only thankful to God

For waking me up

Good by butterfly

Life

Why are we living in this world?
Sometimes this question will come to my mind and I still haven't found the answer yet.
People born, live, old, sick and die. Then what's the point of this life?
This things suddenly came to my mind again when I've just finished reading a novel called 'Surat Kecil untuk Tuhan' which mean 'A letter to God'. This novel is base on true story. It's a really touching story yet it a story which make you realized of how important this life is.

The story is about a girl, called Gita Sesa Wanda Cantika (Keke), who was diagnosed with cancer when she was 13 years old. She has the same age with me, we born from the same year. I still remember when i was 13 years old, I was still playing at that time, still don't know anything, but in the other part of the world a girl with the same age with me is struggling so hard for her life.
She was struggling for 3 years and on 25 December 2006 she left this world and all the people that she love.
The novel tell us that Keke was a kind girl, she was smart, courageous, and she never feel hopeless even though she knew that she might die because of the cancer. But instead of losing her spirit, she try to accept what God have gave her and she still believe in God, she still believe that God still love her and what she had gone through is just a trial from God.

Can you imagine a 13 years old girl can accept all this hardship? without complaining? She is a role model for all of us. During last couple month of her life, she still joined the school exam even though on the last day of her test she had to ask someone to help her fill the answer sheet because she didn't has the strength to fill the answer anymore. What really amazing is that she got the 3rd rank on her class!
She even act ok to people around her so that they don't worry about her even though she left an extreme pain inside of her body.
She still think of others when her life is between live and death.
I remembered last time when i felt dizzy and i didn't go to work, this make me think, what have i done? my dizziness is nothing compare to her pain!

Some people use drug, some people want to end their live by committing suicide. Why don't we just sit down and think, somewhere in this world people are struggling to keep breathing, then why can't we appreciate our live? the most precious things that God has gave us?
Instead of doing nothing why don't we just use this chance that God has gave us to do something important? we can start with fixing ourselves by throwing away our bad habit and start doing good things!

I'm a type of people who is scare of death, because of what? because I'm scare to leave the people that i love or the people that i love leave me. I know that nothing is everlasting in this world and this make me realized that i need to appreciate more of my life, to be thankful, to show more love to people around me.
I don't want to waste my time anymore since every second count!

The last words that Keke told her family during her very last breath which makes me so amazed of her is that "live harmonious and happy life when Keke left..!"

Last things that i want to share is the words that Keke share with all of us before she left this world.

Surat Kecil untuk Tuhan


Tuhan..
Andai aku bisa kembali..
Aku tidak ingin ada tangisan di dunia ini.
Tuhan..
Andai aku bisa kembali
Aku tidak ingin ada hal yang sama terjadi padaku, terjadi pada siapapun
Tuhan..
Bolehkah aku menulis surat kecil untuk-Mu
Tuhan..
Bolehkan aku memohon satu hak kecil untuk-Mu
Biarkan aku tetap melihat bulan dan bintang
Tuhan..
Bolehkah aku..
Hidup untuk waktu yg lama
Tuhan..
Bolehkah aku..
Tersenyum untuk waktu yang lebih lama
Agar tidak ada lagi air mata dalam hidupku..
Tuhan..
Bolehkan aku menjadi dewasa seperti burung yang terbang sebebasnya dilangit
Tuhan..
Bolehkah engkau tidak pisahkan aku dari ayah dan teman-teman yang aku sayangi.
Tuhan..
Surat kecil ini
Adalah permintaan terakhirku.
Andai aku bisa kembali

Facts about ME

Today i would like to share about myself.
I've found out some facts about, some i realized it myself, some are others opinion about me.

Ok, here we go...

Facts about ME:

• Dreamer, i always dream of something, some of them are things which is impossible.
• Artistic, i love drawing, i love photography, i love baking, i love coffee art. i think that's call artist. I interested more on things which is smells like 'Art' (what?!)
• Ignorant, this is people opinions. They said that i'm ignorant, it's like i live in my own world, don't care about what is happening around me. If people besides me turn to Spongebob, will i stay cool?!
• Cool, this is what i heard the most. i don't really speak or speak out my opinion. i prefer to stay quite, hear what people say & state my opinion in my mind. well, actually i'm talkative when i'm with people that i know really well, maybe people that i feel comfortable with. so for people that i just know, i'll be a quite person for them.
• Love to spend time alone, (errrrr..) actually it's not always, depends on the condition. i love to shop alone, hunting for photos alone, wandering around alone. well, the reasons why is that sometimes i feel uncomfortable when someone is around me, i just can't be myself. sometimes i feel annoying as well of what they do, maybe because we share different interest.
• Wishy Washy, that is so true. i always make up my mind on almost everything, i've make the decision but then the next second, i'm doubt again. 
• Demander, don't get i wrong, this is in stuff case, such as i always have something in my mind that i wanted to buy or own. it's just endless! (maybe because people always create something new,tehehe)
• Moody, yea..I'm moody but not that bad as in some people which is completely moody. 
• Love tidiness, this is proved from mostly i'm the one who tidy up our (me&sis) bedroom. i just can't stand if things around me is too messy.
• Spontaneous, i always make decision without thinking about it, i speak without thinking about it (when i'm emo) & this always make me end up regret of what i've said, i just didn't mean to say that, it just burst our from my mouth.
• Don't love studying, since i was a little girl, i've hate studying. 
• Spender, this is my family opinion, maybe i'm the biggest spender in my house (BIGgest?!!), they love to say "you never save your money, once you have money you always spend all of them" then this is what i always say in my mind "i just can't help it!"
• Hate smoke
• Not a pinky girl
• Not feminine 
• Chocolate Lover
• Not a good liar, why? because everytime (means always tell lie? NO ) i tell lie, most likely people will know that i'm tell a lie, either from my expression, intonation, body language, or whatever, people can tell. (geeeeez)
• Innocent, i was called innocent because i'm innocent? ( hmmmm?? ). ok, i don't know how to explain.

i think that too much fact, i don't want to reveal all of them, something bad might happen to me after that. (wth?!) LOL

*raining outside*

today is my day off, actually planning to go to Disney exhibition but my friend canceled it, planning to go photo hunting but it's raining. guess i'll just spend this whole day at home? (so pity.....)

*ring ring!*

but wait, my friend called & asked me out. yey! finally have something to do, gotta prepare my self because she's coming..

(*disappeared*)

don't worry, i won't suddenly disappeared again, i'm not in a hurry.hoho

Then see you on the next post <3

p.s. people need to know their weakness to improve themselves.

People do change

I'm so happy now, why?? because i'm in my country right now, Medan, Indonesia.
we arrived here yesterday afternoon, it's good to be home. i've missed my 3 aunts a lot! and finally i met them now.

And yeah, Happy New Year!! it's 2011 now..
time do pass & things change along with it.
I went to Besi market which near my home this morning, i went there with my Aunt.
I met a lot of people there, mostly they are my Aunt friends because they always go to this market almost everyday since i was a little girl.
I met one of my Aunt old friend, she sell food there like fried rice, fried noodle & something like that ( i love her fried noodle with tomato,hehe )
when i saw her this morning, i was shock, she changed a lot. because this is the first time i came back from Melbourne, so i've been away for almost 1 year.
my thought flew back to when i was a little girl, she used to smile at me when i called her, with her bright smile, with her curly hair, her back was still straight at that time & she looked so energetic & strong at that time. but today, i felt that i saw another different people.
now her hair is gray, it's no longer curl because only some of them left in her head, her back is no longer straight, her smile is no longer bright as it used to be. I suddenly feel pity, she even need to use both of her hand to cook.
then my Aunt told me that last few months she was sick & almost stroke.
she doesn't married so that there's no one take care of her, that's why she still need to cook to support her life even though she is in a week condition.
I was then thought of my Aunt, i have 4 Aunt who doesn't married, they take care of us (me & my siblings) since i born & they treat us like their own daughter.one of them passed away last year. i think, what will happen to them? are they going to be like her? i hope that it won't happen to them.
I kind of trauma of the things people call born,old,disease & die. one of my Aunt who passed away last year, she got cancer. when we know that she got cancer, it was too late to cure. at that time when she was diagnosed with cancer, she still looked so strong, like normal people with perfect health, but then her condition was dramatically turned worse from day to day until her last breath.
It took less than 1 year since she was diagnosed & then she left all of us.
So i'm trauma & i'm really scare that this things might happen again.
All i can do now is pray, pray for all of us.
Let's pray together for people around us, for people who struggle out there to be alive, to be cure from their disease.


p.s. People really do change, maybe we can't avoid what will happen later but we can pray that the condition won't turn worse. 

Time

we always hear this quote "time is money", i want to add "money is not time" to this quote.
Yes, i've been thinking of this lately, i always busy of working because of the money that i'm going to earn later. i'm so crazy of working because i have something that i want to purchase, but now i've reached the target.
so now i'm thinking, for what now i'm so crazy of working?, i don't really need that much money now & then i realized back then i don't really enjoy my life here because i always working.
we can slowly earn our money, like what my sister always say, all we need to do is enjoy our life, don't become the slave of money. well, i admit that i've become the slave of money which i need to change immediately or i'm not going to enjoy my life because i keeps looking for money.
After thinking of that, i make a decision, i'll not working as much as now once i come back from my holiday back to Indo, i'll spent more time with my friends.
I don't want to end up like my mom, who don't enjoy her life until today. i know what she do is for us, her children. maybe at first the reason is her children, but then slowly it become her habits.
she don't even have 'Sunday' on her dictionary, she work everyday from morning until night, & the strange things is that, she feel uncomfortable if she's not working. oh well, what a habit!
So that's why i don't want to end up like my mom & actually i wish that i can do something to make my mom enjoy her life.

The conclusion is, don't because of money you don't enjoy your life, once the time past, it won't turn back. all left is just 'regret'.

p.s. time is money but money is not time